The Good Choice Blog: Finding Joy in the Holidays

By Tiawna LaMontagne | Holiday Edition

If you had told me years ago that I would one day enjoy Christmas, I probably would’ve laughed. Growing up, my family was never big on the holidays — no giant gatherings, no marathon baking sessions, no chaotic living rooms filled with wrapping paper. We usually left town and kept things small, quiet, and peaceful. I loved it!

Then I married a man who lives for Christmas.

My husband, Rob, celebrates the holidays with the enthusiasm of a Hallmark movie character, and somewhere along the way, he helped my heart grow two sizes (yes, very Grinch-like). And while the season still feels overwhelming to me, especially with my mental health, I’ve discovered something beautiful: The Holidays can be joyful when you shape them into something that works for you.

The Parts of Christmas I Truly Love Now

Even as someone who didn’t grow up with elaborate Christmas traditions, I’ve found pieces of the holiday season that I genuinely look forward to — the pieces that feel right for my family and me.

Decorating the Tree Together

It’s just the 3 of us, myself, Rob and Boogie the bulldog. We drink Costco eggnog with nutmeg and hang the ornaments that we have collected together over that years and that actually mean something, talking about the memories attached to each ornament.

Rating Christmas Movies

This has become one of my favourite traditions. Cuddling up on the couch and rating old and new Christmas movies. Some are good, some are awful! We keep a list of all of them, so we know which ones to revisit and which ones to stay away from! Our favourite so far, Klaus! Check it out!

Performing with Village Lightning 

There’s nothing more fun than performing Christmas songs with my band! These are all familiar tunes that instantly make people smile, and sing along. My favourite memory has to be performing at the Santa Claus Day Parade — the weather was perfect, we played live on the back of a flatbed truck, and the energy from the crowd was incredible. It was pure, unforgettable fun!

Annual Gatherings With Friends

I enjoy the annual holiday get-togethers that we can look forward to every year! Jingle Ball, Metal Xmas, Friendsmas, Games weekend in our PJs, Novemberance Day Christmas. Seeing those we don’t always get a chance to see year-round, and having a great, stress-free time!

Over the years, Rob and I have created little moments that feel manageable and meaningful to US. They’re simple, comforting, and realistic — which is exactly why I love them.

But Even with Joy… the Season Has Its Stress

And let’s be honest: Christmas can still be a lot.

We don’t talk enough about how overwhelming the holidays can feel — especially when social expectations start piling up:

• How many holiday events are you supposed to attend?
• What are you expected to bring?
• Are you hosting? Cleaning? Cooking?
• Are relatives staying over?
• And do you even have the energy for all of this?

Have you ever seen Christmas with the Kranks? I am 100% the person who feels bad for the Kranks. Just let them take a break and go on the damn cruise in peace! Or Four Christmases — seriously, what is wrong with going to Fiji or Bali for the holidays? I may be biased (I hate winter), but you get my drift…

These movies are absolutely funny, but they highlight something incredibly real:
the expectations.
the obligations.
The idea that there’s a ‘right’ way to do Christmas.

If following certain traditions brings you joy, that’s wonderful. There is something beautiful about keeping those traditions alive. But if it doesn’t, why should anyone make you feel guilty for doing it your own way?

And then there’s the classic example of holiday pressure: Secret Santa.
What about the people who can’t afford to participate? In today’s economy, even a $15–$20 limit can create stress or force someone to go without something essential. And the pressure to “not be the only person who opts out” can make people feel embarrassed or singled out.

This year, I went to a Christmas party where the organizers supplied every Secret Santa gift — and honestly? It was brilliant. No financial pressure, no last-minute shopping, no guilt. Just fun for everyone!

The Truth Behind the Festive Photos

Everywhere we look — scrolling through Instagram, walking through stores, watching holiday movies — we see curated perfection:
Perfect homes. Perfect families. Perfect joy.

But real life is not curated.

In 2024, I lost my grandmother unexpectedly right before Christmas. My anxiety spiralled, and I experienced daily panic attacks again for the first time in years. I felt like I had no control over my own mind or body while trying to navigate grief, all during a time when it felt like everyone around me expected me to be festive and cheerful.

That contrast — between what I was “supposed to feel” and what I actually felt — made the season even harder and heavier. I felt like a failure because I didn’t look or feel happy like everyone around me, which wreaked havoc on my mental health during an already difficult time. It was a really hard year.

This year, as we decorated our tree, we added a few of my grandma’s Christmas ornaments. It was a bittersweet moment — sharing memories of her while also remembering the pain of losing her last year. Every time I look at our tree now, I see those ornaments and think of her — and I smile. It’s our quiet Christmas moment together; she is still celebrating with us.

Creating a Christmas That Belongs to You

Little by little, I’ve learned to shape the holidays in a way that supports my mental health and still allows room for joy.

Here’s what I now hold onto:

🌟 The Holidays should feel good — not perfect.

🌟 You don’t owe anyone a picture-perfect holiday.

🌟 You’re allowed to do the holidays your way.

I still have a hard time with these from time to time, but a few friendly reminders.

It is absolutely okay if:

• You don’t attend every event.
• You say NO without guilt.
• You bring store-bought cookies.
• You leave early because you’re overwhelmed.

The people who truly love you won’t need you to perform Christmas — they will want you to be ‘present’ for the holidays!

Because here’s the quiet truth:
For many people, me included, the holidays are a blend of joy and survival. And that’s okay. We are human beings, not holiday characters.

So please — be kind to yourself.
And be kind to others.
You never know what someone else is carrying during this holiday season.

If You or Someone You Know Needs Support During this Holiday Season:

You are not alone — help is available:

988 Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call or text 988 anytime

211 Saskatchewan: Call or text 2-1-1 or visit www.sk.211.ca for options for Rapid Access Counselling

Kid’s Help Phone: Text 686868 or call 1-800-668-6868