The Good Choice Blog: Seasonal Affective Disorder

By Tiawna LaMontagne | When Winter Hits Hard

I have never liked winter.

I hate the cold. I hate the snow. And yes—I know hate is a strong word, but it is the most accurate one I have.

Winter has never been my season. I don’t romanticize it, I don’t embrace it, and I certainly don’t thrive in it. And living with depression and anxiety makes the winter months that much harder.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve noticed a clear pattern: as the seasons change, my mental health takes a hit. I hibernate. I isolate. I withdraw into myself during this long, icy stretch of time that seems to drag on forever, then I have to work extra hard to work myself out of that dark hole in the Spring/Summer.  Winter has always been difficult for me, but since being diagnosed with depression and anxiety a decade ago, Seasonal Affective Disorder has made it significantly worse—especially between December and February when it’s dark and freezing cold.

Winter and I Have Never Been Friends

I’ve learned the hard way that winter and I were never meant to be. Some people grow up loving sledding, building snowmend and outdoor winter adventures. I grew up collecting injuries and developing a very healthy respect for staying far away from anything involving ice, speed, or frozen ground.

Winter sports and I also have a long, painful history.
A broken leg from skating.
A major concussion and bruised ribs from skiing.
Even curling managed to give me a concussion…just to name a few.

At this point, I think winter and I have come to a mutual understanding: we are not compatible.

I am a slo-pitch, summer-festival, ocean-loving kind of woman. Always have been. Always will be. Sunshine, patios, music, long evenings—that is where I come alive. My husband and I were always very open about our retirement plan: somewhere warm, somewhere sunny, somewhere where -40 isn’t even considered a joke.

When the Darkness Creeps In

The hardest part of winter isn’t just the cold—it’s the darkness.

It’s hard to get out of bed when it’s pitch black outside. I come home from work exhausted, sometimes so drained that I’m in bed by 6:30 p.m. My mood plummets. My anxiety ramps up. I feel like a completely different person.

I hate how I feel.
I hate going outside.
I hate who I become during these months.

All I want to do is literally run away. If I could hop on a plane in November and come back in May…See ya next year!

Unfortunately, I don’t have a private jet ready to whisk me off to Bora Bora—so here we are.

If you’ve read my previous blogs, you already know that my husband is a huge fan of Christmas. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year for him. Because of that, December through February often end up being the most challenging period for me. The seasonal change collides with expectations, traditions, and my own mental health struggles.

My anxiety takes over. I feel like a terrible person for “bringing everyone down” or for not being able to cope with an environment I’ve lived in my entire life. I isolate. I stop reaching out to friends because I feel like a life-sucker. I convince myself that everyone would be better off without my negativity.

And every time it snows, I feel miserable.

All I can think about is getting out of here. Selling everything. Retiring early. Living somewhere sunny where winter doesn’t dictate my life and my mental health.

How I Try to Cope

I want to be honest here—none of these things “fix” Seasonal Affective Disorder. They help. Sometimes. And sometimes they don’t. But they’re the tools I reach for, and having more than one tool really helps when I am feeling overwhelmed!

Vitamin D is my best friend.
I don’t take it year-round. I usually start in October and continue through May. It helps take the edge off the winter blues—but even that isn’t always enough.

I need something to look forward to.
Usually, it’s a trip. Anyone who knows me knows I love to travel. A concert. A getaway. A countdown. Having something on the calendar—something that represents sunshine or joy—gives me something to focus on when the days feel endless.

My bulldog is a built-in endorphin boost.
She offers unconditional love, zero judgment, and no expectations. On the hardest days, that kind of companionship is everything. Sometimes love really is all we need—as the Beatles said.

I throw myself into my work.
I genuinely love what I do, and staying busy helps me feel grounded. The busier I am, the happier I tend to be. It also gets me out of the house and my anxious head, and it burns off some of that restless energy that winter creates.

And I remind myself to grant myself grace.
This one does not come easily to me. If you’ve read my blogs, you already know that “you are your own worst critic” applies to me 100%.

I try to ask myself: If a friend were feeling this way, what would I say to them?
And then—this is the hard part—I try to offer myself the same kindness.

Winter may always be something I endure rather than enjoy, and that’s okay. Seasonal Affective Disorder is not something I can simply will away…for now anyway, and pretending otherwise only makes it heavier. What I can do is acknowledge it, talk about it openly, and meet myself where I’m at instead of where I think I “should” be.

If this season feels unbearable for you too, please know you’re not broken—you’re human. February doesn’t last forever, even when it feels like it might. It is, after all, the shortest month of the year! Until the light comes back, all we can do is keep showing up for ourselves in small, imperfect ways… and look forward to those brighter days ahead.

If you or someone you know needs support:

Reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness — it’s an act of courage. Healing looks different for everyone, and needing help along the way is part of being human.

You are not alone.

📞 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline
Call or text 988 | 24/7, Canada-wide

📞 HealthLine Saskatchewan
Call 811 | 24/7 health & mental health support

📞 Mobile Crisis Services (24/7)
Regina: 306-757-0127
Saskatoon: 306-933-6200
Prince Albert: 306-764-1011

📞 Kids Help Phone
Call 1-800-668-6868
Text 686868 | 24/7

📞 Farm Stress Line (SK)
Call 1-800-667-4442 | 24/7

📞 Hope for Wellness Help Line (Indigenous Peoples)
Call 1-855-242-3310 | 24/7
Text HOPE to 45645

Counselling & Community Supports

📞 Counselling Connect Saskatchewan
Call 306-933-3655
Email info@counsellingconnectsask.ca

📞 Canadian Mental Health Association – Saskatchewan
Call 306-525-5333
Email info@sk.cmha.ca

📞 211 Saskatchewan
Call or text 211 | Community & mental health resources

📞 SaskAgMatters Mental Health Network
Call 1-800-667-4442
Email info@saskagmatters.ca